It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'
-- Sam Levenson AA

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
-- Laurence J. Peter AA

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
-- Bill Cosby AA

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
-- Jack Benny AA