If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.
-- Alfred North Whitehead AA

It is not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one's thoughts. It saves one having to bother anyone else with them.
-- Isabel Colegate AA

To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.
-- Voltaire AA

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
-- Steven Wright AA