I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.
-- Zach Braff AA

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
-- Rodney Dangerfield AA

Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.
-- Barbara Tober AA

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.
-- Kin Hubbard AA