Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
-- Dave Barry AA

You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
-- Henry Ford AA

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
-- Mark Twain AA

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock AA