You give my regards to St. Peter, or whoever has his job, but in Hell.
-- Joss Whedon, Zack Whedon, Maurissa Tancharoen, and Jed Whedon AA

They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum.
-- Tallulah Bankhead AA

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
-- Steven Wright AA

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
-- Woody Allen AA