I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.
-- Demetri Martin AA

War is not nice.
-- Barbara Bush AA

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
-- Abraham Lincoln AA

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
-- Kin Hubbard AA