The first time I ever read the dictionary I thought it was a poem about everything.
-- Steven Wright AA

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
-- Doug Larson AA

You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable doubt.
-- Ed Meese AA

A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
-- Baltasar Gracian AA