You can't please all of the people all of the time, and last night all of those people came to my show.
-- Mitch Hedberg AA

We do on stage things that are supposed to happen off. Which is a kind of integrity, if you look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else.
-- Tom Stoppard AA

The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
-- Paul Valery AA

A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.
-- John Tudor AA