My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
-- Rodney Dangerfield AA

Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson AA

An ostentatious man will rather relate a blunder or an absurdity he has committed, than be debarred from talking of his own dear person.
-- Joseph Addison AA

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.
-- Robert Benchley AA