I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say 'Mitch,' and I say 'what?' and turn my head slightly.
-- Mitch Hedberg AA

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
-- Mark Twain AA

There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true.
-- Sir Winston Churchill AA

There are more fools in the world than there are people.
-- Heinrich Heine AA