The best time to plant an oak tree was twenty-five years ago. The second best time is today.
-- James Carville AA

Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem mild, harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's characters.
-- Margaret Halsey AA

The town where I grew up has a zip code of E-I-E-I-O.
-- Martin Mull AA

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
-- Larry Gelbart AA

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